It's 2013, fireworks going off, plates being passed around, smoke everywhere, noises going berserk, kids jumping, music playing, it's two thousand freaking thirteen!
Can you believe it?
Two thousand freaking thirteen!
And we're still alive. (I figured that comment was necessary because of the end-of-the-world thing)
Anyway, I really do hope this year's going to special. Thirteen is my favorite number :)
Happy new year, everyone! I hope the universe delivers even the slightest bit of happiness at your doorstep.
Monday, 31 December 2012
Friday, 28 December 2012
Seventeen
Common question I receive every time it's my birthday: So, how does it feel?
It feels like the present. I mean, we grow every second, right? We grow, we think, we process, we hurt, we live, we cry, we laugh, we bask, we sleep, we are always doing stuff. There's no time for the body to stop. We are always doing something, either voluntary or involuntary.
But, of course, if we look at it in another way, being at a certain age differs from being at another age. Am I making sense? 16 didn't feel like 14. 14 didn't feel like 10. 10 didn't feel like 6. 6 didn't feel like 2.
It's the change we fail to see, I guess. We see life as this cycle where we do stuff all over again, but it's not actually the same all the time. In the classroom, you sit on the same chair over and over and over again, but there's a change there. Did you converse with your seatmate about the same stuff again? Same words, same spaces for laughter? I don't think so. We go home each day, but the thoughts in our minds aren't exactly the same.
"So, how does it feel?"
How does it feel to not say "I'm sixteen" again or how does it feel to be 17?
I don't know? It feels like the present?
Being asked that question on your birthday sort of feels like waking up in the morning and being asked "So, how was your day?"
~~~
I got cheesecake and red velvet cake from my mom and my sister <3
Also, thanks for the birthday wishes. I really appreciated them :D I hope seventeen's gonna be a blast.
It feels like the present. I mean, we grow every second, right? We grow, we think, we process, we hurt, we live, we cry, we laugh, we bask, we sleep, we are always doing stuff. There's no time for the body to stop. We are always doing something, either voluntary or involuntary.
But, of course, if we look at it in another way, being at a certain age differs from being at another age. Am I making sense? 16 didn't feel like 14. 14 didn't feel like 10. 10 didn't feel like 6. 6 didn't feel like 2.
It's the change we fail to see, I guess. We see life as this cycle where we do stuff all over again, but it's not actually the same all the time. In the classroom, you sit on the same chair over and over and over again, but there's a change there. Did you converse with your seatmate about the same stuff again? Same words, same spaces for laughter? I don't think so. We go home each day, but the thoughts in our minds aren't exactly the same.
"So, how does it feel?"
How does it feel to not say "I'm sixteen" again or how does it feel to be 17?
I don't know? It feels like the present?
Being asked that question on your birthday sort of feels like waking up in the morning and being asked "So, how was your day?"
~~~
I got cheesecake and red velvet cake from my mom and my sister <3
Also, thanks for the birthday wishes. I really appreciated them :D I hope seventeen's gonna be a blast.
Monday, 24 December 2012
For a second there, I thought I lost you.
Someone used my laptop to check her accounts so it got logged out and I forgot my log in details.
BUT I'M HERE YAY.
Merry Christmas, you guys :) I'm wishing for a lot of things. I really do hope 2013 will be better. It does get better, right?
BUT I'M HERE YAY.
Merry Christmas, you guys :) I'm wishing for a lot of things. I really do hope 2013 will be better. It does get better, right?
Monday, 17 December 2012
You know what?
You make me feel like i'm the ugliest girl in the world. You make me feel like i'm really, really, really, really, unattractive. You make me feel like I own the world's most unusual personality. You make me feel like a bundle of failures, a puddle of unattractive goo, a sack of crap.
And you know what? You know what?
I still like you.
Because you know what? Every time you just seem to notice that i'm alive, breathing, capable of feelings, and I exist
You make me feel pretty.
And I like that feeling, you know?
You really are something else.
And you know what? You know what?
I still like you.
Because you know what? Every time you just seem to notice that i'm alive, breathing, capable of feelings, and I exist
You make me feel pretty.
And I like that feeling, you know?
You really are something else.
Saturday, 15 December 2012
My bangs, my forehead, and my eyebrows.
Back in June, my bangs were pretty darn short. I decided to have it cut until my eyebrows and I had to go through a month and a half of school with bangs that covered all of my forehead.
You see, I have this face
This face has a forehead
Near this forehead are my eyebrows
And they make me look really mean.
I know, I know it's weird, but it really does. A friend of mine told me so. She told me it made me look really mean and a little bit intimidating. And if she hasn't met me yet, and saw me across the room with my bangs nowhere to be found and my eyebrows exposed to world, she wouldn't have said "Hi".
I'll be keeping my bangs for a while. They're 3 and a half inches longer now, though.
I want happy things to happen :c
Just this once, I don't want people to say "BUT THERE ARE HAPPY THINGS THAT ARE CURRENTLY HAPPENING. YOU JUST DON'T NOTICE THEM."
That's the thing. I don't notice them because 1. I'm probably "dead" or "somewhere else" 2. Those happy things probably don't concern me at the moment. It is very selfish of me and I know I should be happy for other people's happiness, but wouldn't it be really odd if I just couldn't stop smiling and squealing and probably couldn't sleep because someone finally got that new shirt they've always wanted? I'll explain more in the next paragraph. Oh god I sound so selfish. 3. Sometimes, because of the lack of "happy things" actually happening to you, and the unfair amount of "happy things" happening to someone else, you just fail to notice many things because you seem to be swimming in a pool of envious depression. 4. I know there are happy things happening all around, but they're all different to some degree. Some make you go "aaww", some make you go "Oh wow", some make you go "HORREH FREAKING SHET -squeals-", and some make you cry.
Anyway, let's go back to number 2 because I just think I need to explain things. You see, the happiness you feel when someone experiences "happy things" and the happiness you feel when you're the one actually experiencing "happy things" aren't the same. The first one is more of a "THANK GOD ALLELUIA" feeling and the other one's more like "OH GOD THANK YOU SO MUCH UNIVERSE I FEEL SO GOOOOD". Uhm, do you get it or? I mean, it's normal to hurt a little bit when someone else is experiencing truck loads of happy things, like life's practically throwing it at their faces, and you're just... there, right?
Now this is the part where people would tell me "BUT THERE ARE HAPPY THINGS THAT ARE CURRENTLY HAPPENING. YOU JUST DON'T NOTICE THEM."
go back to paragraph number 2.
That's the thing. I don't notice them because 1. I'm probably "dead" or "somewhere else" 2. Those happy things probably don't concern me at the moment. It is very selfish of me and I know I should be happy for other people's happiness, but wouldn't it be really odd if I just couldn't stop smiling and squealing and probably couldn't sleep because someone finally got that new shirt they've always wanted? I'll explain more in the next paragraph. Oh god I sound so selfish. 3. Sometimes, because of the lack of "happy things" actually happening to you, and the unfair amount of "happy things" happening to someone else, you just fail to notice many things because you seem to be swimming in a pool of envious depression. 4. I know there are happy things happening all around, but they're all different to some degree. Some make you go "aaww", some make you go "Oh wow", some make you go "HORREH FREAKING SHET -squeals-", and some make you cry.
Anyway, let's go back to number 2 because I just think I need to explain things. You see, the happiness you feel when someone experiences "happy things" and the happiness you feel when you're the one actually experiencing "happy things" aren't the same. The first one is more of a "THANK GOD ALLELUIA" feeling and the other one's more like "OH GOD THANK YOU SO MUCH UNIVERSE I FEEL SO GOOOOD". Uhm, do you get it or? I mean, it's normal to hurt a little bit when someone else is experiencing truck loads of happy things, like life's practically throwing it at their faces, and you're just... there, right?
Now this is the part where people would tell me "BUT THERE ARE HAPPY THINGS THAT ARE CURRENTLY HAPPENING. YOU JUST DON'T NOTICE THEM."
go back to paragraph number 2.
Friday, 14 December 2012
:3
You should come closer and talk more often.
it's just awesome when you do that, okay?
Okay.
I don't mind talking about the most random things. I don't mind when I tell you a joke and you actually believe it like an adorable gullible kid
kid 1: That candy's made of zombie brains.
kid 2: ...... -cries-
kid 1: I'm not even kidding.
kid 2: -cries even more-
....er, you're kid number 2.
You're a person filled with questions and I really don't mind trying to explain everything as long as I can talk to you. It's great knowing that you know i'm alive :D
it's just awesome when you do that, okay?
Okay.
I don't mind talking about the most random things. I don't mind when I tell you a joke and you actually believe it like an adorable gullible kid
kid 1: That candy's made of zombie brains.
kid 2: ...... -cries-
kid 1: I'm not even kidding.
kid 2: -cries even more-
....er, you're kid number 2.
You're a person filled with questions and I really don't mind trying to explain everything as long as I can talk to you. It's great knowing that you know i'm alive :D
Thursday, 13 December 2012
Someone's idea of pretty or attractive.
We all have our personal definitions for "pretty" or "attractive". If we didn't, we would probably be attracted to every human being we see and that could cause problems. And it's both good and suck...ish.
Do you like the way her hair turns brown under the sunlight? Do you like the way she walks into class with that hey-i'm-here-but-not-totally-here-psh attitude? Do you like the way she blinks a lot when she doesn't know what to do? Do you like the way you just know your arms would fit nicely around her waist? Do you like looking at her lips while she's talking, constantly biting them when she's thinking hard?
You know what? Other people do that, too.
BUT
You're not attracted to them the way you are to other certain people.
And it's weird. It can hurt. It could be the loveliest thing ever, precious, and cute. It can be everything. It can be nothing.
Now here's something for an imaginary attractive dude I would SO want to meet.
Maybe it's the way your mouth curves into a smile when you think of something brilliant, or the way you make me think about the most random things. Maybe it's the way you fill my mind with stories about modern people, dancing unicorns, parades in the rain, and the words you find in books that you want to use over and over again for the rest of your life. Maybe it's the way you dress yourself, so simple, yet it looks good. Maybe it's the way those guitar strings seem so in love with you. Maybe it's the way you glance at your wrist watch when things are getting awkward. Maybe it's the way you see math as a language. Maybe it's the way you have friends, but you don't always hang out with them because you're stuck somewhere reading a book. Maybe it's the way your glasses make your eyes look bigger, your smile friendlier, your whole existence more huggable than ever. Maybe it's the way you tend to spit out details like "Oh hey, I love you. I mean, i've only known you for a few months, but I love you. I mean, not entirely love because there's infatuation, crushes, squishes, and being in love is something else. I mean, I don't even know your favorite country. I mean, am I even supposed to know your favorite country? Do you even have a favorite country? Oh hey, I love you." Maybe it's the way you don't normally glance, but when you do, it electrifies the air and it's just so awesome. Maybe it's the way you just glow with confidence. Maybe it's the way you're not all that obvious. Maybe it's the way you want me to explain things because you ask too much. Maybe it's because you're weird in a very good way.
Oh, I know a lot of people would find a person like that cute.
Do you like the way her hair turns brown under the sunlight? Do you like the way she walks into class with that hey-i'm-here-but-not-totally-here-psh attitude? Do you like the way she blinks a lot when she doesn't know what to do? Do you like the way you just know your arms would fit nicely around her waist? Do you like looking at her lips while she's talking, constantly biting them when she's thinking hard?
You know what? Other people do that, too.
BUT
You're not attracted to them the way you are to other certain people.
And it's weird. It can hurt. It could be the loveliest thing ever, precious, and cute. It can be everything. It can be nothing.
Now here's something for an imaginary attractive dude I would SO want to meet.
Maybe it's the way your mouth curves into a smile when you think of something brilliant, or the way you make me think about the most random things. Maybe it's the way you fill my mind with stories about modern people, dancing unicorns, parades in the rain, and the words you find in books that you want to use over and over again for the rest of your life. Maybe it's the way you dress yourself, so simple, yet it looks good. Maybe it's the way those guitar strings seem so in love with you. Maybe it's the way you glance at your wrist watch when things are getting awkward. Maybe it's the way you see math as a language. Maybe it's the way you have friends, but you don't always hang out with them because you're stuck somewhere reading a book. Maybe it's the way your glasses make your eyes look bigger, your smile friendlier, your whole existence more huggable than ever. Maybe it's the way you tend to spit out details like "Oh hey, I love you. I mean, i've only known you for a few months, but I love you. I mean, not entirely love because there's infatuation, crushes, squishes, and being in love is something else. I mean, I don't even know your favorite country. I mean, am I even supposed to know your favorite country? Do you even have a favorite country? Oh hey, I love you." Maybe it's the way you don't normally glance, but when you do, it electrifies the air and it's just so awesome. Maybe it's the way you just glow with confidence. Maybe it's the way you're not all that obvious. Maybe it's the way you want me to explain things because you ask too much. Maybe it's because you're weird in a very good way.
Oh, I know a lot of people would find a person like that cute.
Wednesday, 12 December 2012
12-12-12
It was actually a great day for me. Everything was smooth in the morning although I did forget my homework at home (Hey, but I managed to get it done at school.)
In the afternoon, I got these:
In the afternoon, I got these:
The busilak thing was pretty darn cheesy, but that's okay u__u. But I really do have this feeling in my guts that these aren't mine and those 3 people just thought I was that girl he (or she?) wanted to give these flowers to.
It was after Filipino class and I hurriedly went outside the room after class only to be greeted by 3 people holding a couple of white roses and one of them told me "Uhm, we were told to give these roses to you."
and my reaction was like
wait
The conversation thing went like this:
Them: Uhm, we were told to give these roses to you.
Me: ............ uh what?
Them: Someone told us to give these roses to you.
Me: To me? Are you sure?
Them: -nods- please just take them. He worked hard for these. He's gonna introduce himself to you if you take them....
Me: ......
Them: ......
My friends: OH GOD JUST TAKE THEM -holds my books-
Me: WHAT WHAT OH MY GOD -crosses arms-
Them: Please? Please? Please?
Me: Seriously? It's for me?
Them: -nods-
Me: ..... uhm
Them: -hands me the roses-
Me: Thank you?
My friends: AHSJASHDJSAJD
SERIOUSLY. I THINK THESE AREN'T MINE. THIS SITUATION IS TOO WEIRD AND THESE ROSES ARE TOO PRETTY.
and how did he know my schedule?
and why is his handwriting so... I don't know? Neat? Even neater than mine?
and what is it with him and my laughter? I laugh too much, don't I?
Ugh?
SERIOUSLY I REALLY THINK THESE AREN'T MINE.
Monday, 10 December 2012
I had this weird dream.
I was riding a bus home and it was raining. Pretty chilly, I was all bunched up in a corner with my frozen fingers clutching my black bag, my drowsy head leaning against the window.
The bus was only half full and at the front were a bunch of teenagers laughing about who-knows-what. There was nobody beside me and I was completely okay with that. Even the elderly seated at the middle had someone to be warm with, but I was completely alone. It was a different kind of loneliness. It felt nice.
Then, the bus stopped and the doors opened. It took quite a while so I dragged myself to the right so I could see who's gonna get on the bus. Apparently, it was someone I knew. This "someone I knew" is apparently, someone I liked. And this "someone I liked" was getting on the bus that I was in. And "this bus that I was in" had only a few seats left and I was completely alone in my row. Naturally, I hid at the corner with the thought of "Oh my god oh my god OHMYGOD if I don't move, maybe he won't notice that there's a seat here."
He did.
But being a nice boy that he is, he didn't sit with me. I was left with my nice kind of loneliness while he was stuck sitting with a sleeping elderly woman. He just gave me a smile, a nod, and went on to his window seat.
I got off probably 15 minutes later and when I got up, he stood up too and all I could think of was "Oh. Maybe he wanted my seat. Well, go ahead."
But no.
He followed me home.
We didn't walk side by side. It was more of walking diagonally side by side-ish together. There was only a sense of security and confusion. Why would he follow me home? Or walk me home like i'm some kind of poodle? But all these questions were hidden behind smiles and red umbrellas. Separate red umbrellas if you're asking.
(Let's hide his identity behind the name... Wilfred? And I just translated everything to English.)
"Wilfred," I said to him while pushing the gate open with a slippery hand. I went in first. "This is weird and crazy and... and I don't know? You need to go home."
He pouted a bit and kicked the gate open with his foot and entered, too. "It's raining and it's cold. Can't I stay for just a bit?" and he laughed "And then I'll go home."
It was awesome having him around, but all I could think of was "Why didn't you just go home? I bet your house is as warm as my house... I mean... I mean... GOD fine, fine, fine."
I led him in, gave him a towel to dry himself with (He reminded me of a puppy when he dried his hair.), and went inside my bedroom to get out of my damp clothes, get into warm ones, and probably proceed outside to where he was and ask him questions like "Why are you here?" "Why didn't you go home?" "I thought you didn't even notice me. Why are you here again?" "Are you part puppy?"
I was having a last minute check up on my laptop for notifications and emails when he just stood by the door and said "Can I sleep on your floor?"
"Oh my god what" were the words that came out. I bounced off the bed, a little amused laugh escaping my mouth. My hand managed to grab my owl pillows and I gave him one. "No, you can't sleep on the floor. I might have to drag you towards your house. How dare you."
He laughed and I pushed him away from my bedroom.
"You know what?" I grabbed my phone "You could sleep in the living room and i'll just set my alarm, okay? Is an hour okay with you.... because seriously GOD i'm getting worried. You.really.need.need.need to get home."
He nodded and proceeded to sleep in the living room. He wasn't actually sleeping. He was just closing his eyes, glasses drooping from his nose, nose scrunched up every time thunder decided to roar and he was cute that way. But I decided not to stare because that's creepy. I just decided to read while he was resting.
The alarm rung an hour later and I placed my hand on his shoulder and shook him gently.
"Hey, hey, hey, wake up." I said to him.
"I'm not even sleeping."
"I know."
"And it's still raining."
"I know."
"I never knew you were evil this way."
"I know." I laughed and grabbed his red umbrella "Home, Wilfred. I'm sorry if i'm being rude or persistent or whatever, but I care about you and your relationship with your buds and your parents. I could walk you home if you want."
"It's okay." he gave me a smile and a small laugh and proceeded to go outside. But he never took his umbrella with him.
"Don't you want to use your umbre--- OHMYGOD you're getting soaked!" I chased after him with his umbrella.
"It's okay." He told me "My house isn't that far. Just five minutes and i'm there."
And all I could think of was "Oh. Well maybe you could've stayed longer."
But no. I told him to go home because I cared.
The bus was only half full and at the front were a bunch of teenagers laughing about who-knows-what. There was nobody beside me and I was completely okay with that. Even the elderly seated at the middle had someone to be warm with, but I was completely alone. It was a different kind of loneliness. It felt nice.
Then, the bus stopped and the doors opened. It took quite a while so I dragged myself to the right so I could see who's gonna get on the bus. Apparently, it was someone I knew. This "someone I knew" is apparently, someone I liked. And this "someone I liked" was getting on the bus that I was in. And "this bus that I was in" had only a few seats left and I was completely alone in my row. Naturally, I hid at the corner with the thought of "Oh my god oh my god OHMYGOD if I don't move, maybe he won't notice that there's a seat here."
He did.
But being a nice boy that he is, he didn't sit with me. I was left with my nice kind of loneliness while he was stuck sitting with a sleeping elderly woman. He just gave me a smile, a nod, and went on to his window seat.
I got off probably 15 minutes later and when I got up, he stood up too and all I could think of was "Oh. Maybe he wanted my seat. Well, go ahead."
But no.
He followed me home.
We didn't walk side by side. It was more of walking diagonally side by side-ish together. There was only a sense of security and confusion. Why would he follow me home? Or walk me home like i'm some kind of poodle? But all these questions were hidden behind smiles and red umbrellas. Separate red umbrellas if you're asking.
(Let's hide his identity behind the name... Wilfred? And I just translated everything to English.)
"Wilfred," I said to him while pushing the gate open with a slippery hand. I went in first. "This is weird and crazy and... and I don't know? You need to go home."
He pouted a bit and kicked the gate open with his foot and entered, too. "It's raining and it's cold. Can't I stay for just a bit?" and he laughed "And then I'll go home."
It was awesome having him around, but all I could think of was "Why didn't you just go home? I bet your house is as warm as my house... I mean... I mean... GOD fine, fine, fine."
I led him in, gave him a towel to dry himself with (He reminded me of a puppy when he dried his hair.), and went inside my bedroom to get out of my damp clothes, get into warm ones, and probably proceed outside to where he was and ask him questions like "Why are you here?" "Why didn't you go home?" "I thought you didn't even notice me. Why are you here again?" "Are you part puppy?"
I was having a last minute check up on my laptop for notifications and emails when he just stood by the door and said "Can I sleep on your floor?"
"Oh my god what" were the words that came out. I bounced off the bed, a little amused laugh escaping my mouth. My hand managed to grab my owl pillows and I gave him one. "No, you can't sleep on the floor. I might have to drag you towards your house. How dare you."
He laughed and I pushed him away from my bedroom.
"You know what?" I grabbed my phone "You could sleep in the living room and i'll just set my alarm, okay? Is an hour okay with you.... because seriously GOD i'm getting worried. You.really.need.need.need to get home."
He nodded and proceeded to sleep in the living room. He wasn't actually sleeping. He was just closing his eyes, glasses drooping from his nose, nose scrunched up every time thunder decided to roar and he was cute that way. But I decided not to stare because that's creepy. I just decided to read while he was resting.
The alarm rung an hour later and I placed my hand on his shoulder and shook him gently.
"Hey, hey, hey, wake up." I said to him.
"I'm not even sleeping."
"I know."
"And it's still raining."
"I know."
"I never knew you were evil this way."
"I know." I laughed and grabbed his red umbrella "Home, Wilfred. I'm sorry if i'm being rude or persistent or whatever, but I care about you and your relationship with your buds and your parents. I could walk you home if you want."
"It's okay." he gave me a smile and a small laugh and proceeded to go outside. But he never took his umbrella with him.
"Don't you want to use your umbre--- OHMYGOD you're getting soaked!" I chased after him with his umbrella.
"It's okay." He told me "My house isn't that far. Just five minutes and i'm there."
And all I could think of was "Oh. Well maybe you could've stayed longer."
But no. I told him to go home because I cared.
Friday, 23 November 2012
Sigh
I really can't find the perfect words to explain certain people or certain events or certain feelings at certain moments under a certain amount of daylight. Once you find words to fit the situation you want to explain, you end up thinking "Oh god that wasn't enough."
It's true. And it gives you that unsatisfactory gut feeling that sort of feels like a mix of a tickle and an itch.
You're lovely. Let's just say "lovely" is a pot full of extraordinary stuff and let's just say I love the way you strut and the way you look under morning light. Let's just say you're a pot of lovely.
Oh god that wasn't enough.
And let's just say you like another person and I am perfectly okay with the fact that this person is waaaaay better than me because I am a raisin, or that oatmeal that nobody wants. Like, ever. Please just accept the fact that I may/may not like you in some sort of strange way that everybody experiences, but it's hard for me to deal with. Please don't be stupid. You know what I mean.
Your whole existence is attached to my life now. And those strings will never break. These footprints are permanent, buddy.
It's true. And it gives you that unsatisfactory gut feeling that sort of feels like a mix of a tickle and an itch.
You're lovely. Let's just say "lovely" is a pot full of extraordinary stuff and let's just say I love the way you strut and the way you look under morning light. Let's just say you're a pot of lovely.
Oh god that wasn't enough.
And let's just say you like another person and I am perfectly okay with the fact that this person is waaaaay better than me because I am a raisin, or that oatmeal that nobody wants. Like, ever. Please just accept the fact that I may/may not like you in some sort of strange way that everybody experiences, but it's hard for me to deal with. Please don't be stupid. You know what I mean.
Your whole existence is attached to my life now. And those strings will never break. These footprints are permanent, buddy.
Saturday, 10 November 2012
People
People. What is it with people liking other people? Sometimes, don't you just hate it when that seems required in order for you to actually have a life? It's normal, of course. Very very normal.
I'm a person and I may not seem like it, but I guess i'm attracted to certain people, too. It may/may not be romantic or sexual, though. Hey, like I said: It's pretty darn normal. You don't have to be all "OH MY GOD" because it's actually pretty darn freaking normal :D
Infatuation. I could talk about falling in love, but I seriously don't know how that feels. I'm not even kidding. I guess I do, but only because of books. Infatuation is a much much milder version.
Anyway, Infatuation is when you get crushes (or squishes) on people. It's when you're attracted to them. It starts off when you see them (or when you hear about them) and you're all "...oh...my...god"
And when you see them, you're all:
I'm a person and I may not seem like it, but I guess i'm attracted to certain people, too. It may/may not be romantic or sexual, though. Hey, like I said: It's pretty darn normal. You don't have to be all "OH MY GOD" because it's actually pretty darn freaking normal :D
Infatuation. I could talk about falling in love, but I seriously don't know how that feels. I'm not even kidding. I guess I do, but only because of books. Infatuation is a much much milder version.
Anyway, Infatuation is when you get crushes (or squishes) on people. It's when you're attracted to them. It starts off when you see them (or when you hear about them) and you're all "...oh...my...god"
And when you see them, you're all:
And when you wake up, you get excited because you're going to see them (or maybe not) again and be all "AAAAH <3"
or you could be like me:
Wednesday, 31 October 2012
So, Happy Halloween.
Today was a pretty sorta-productive day, I guess. The day before, I got a trim and added some layers. It's pretty okay. The majority of the burnt stiff ends are off, but my hair's fluffier than usual.
But today, while I was staring at my self at the mirror, my eyes came upon a box of hair dye and I thought "Oh alright. Why the hell not?" and so I did do it. My hair's dyed now, but you wouldn't be able to see it unless i'm standing under daylight. It's okay, hair dye. You tried.
It's also my aunt's 50th birthday and I bought her a pair of black sandals! She seemed quite happy about it. A lot more years to you and I wish you a lot of happy days because you deserve them. You really really really really do.
Other than that, the roleplay had so much fun dressing up in costumes and Nico even got to kiss Jade. It was a nose and cheek kiss, but oh come on. He's a philophobic bastard so give him a break.
All in all, wonderful day. I wonder what's in store tomorrow (or today.... considering it's 12:43 AM. Bah, the next day doesn't start 'till I see sunlight and i've already fallen asleep.)
I hope at least half of the population had a good day, too.
Be a good month, November.
But today, while I was staring at my self at the mirror, my eyes came upon a box of hair dye and I thought "Oh alright. Why the hell not?" and so I did do it. My hair's dyed now, but you wouldn't be able to see it unless i'm standing under daylight. It's okay, hair dye. You tried.
It's also my aunt's 50th birthday and I bought her a pair of black sandals! She seemed quite happy about it. A lot more years to you and I wish you a lot of happy days because you deserve them. You really really really really do.
Other than that, the roleplay had so much fun dressing up in costumes and Nico even got to kiss Jade. It was a nose and cheek kiss, but oh come on. He's a philophobic bastard so give him a break.
All in all, wonderful day. I wonder what's in store tomorrow (or today.... considering it's 12:43 AM. Bah, the next day doesn't start 'till I see sunlight and i've already fallen asleep.)
I hope at least half of the population had a good day, too.
Be a good month, November.
Saturday, 27 October 2012
Haircuts.
I am a girl. I have hair. I have girly hair.
And I have girly feelings about my girly hair.
It's normal to be nervous when you get a haircut. You don't know how something will look on you. Maybe it'll look extremely awesome on someone meanwhile it'll look like total bull crap on you.
Yes, being nervous is very normal. People try to look as good as possible.
Now, let me display a certain situation. Let's say I asked someone to cut my hair short. I'm supposed to see it as this:
And I have girly feelings about my girly hair.
It's normal to be nervous when you get a haircut. You don't know how something will look on you. Maybe it'll look extremely awesome on someone meanwhile it'll look like total bull crap on you.
Yes, being nervous is very normal. People try to look as good as possible.
Now, let me display a certain situation. Let's say I asked someone to cut my hair short. I'm supposed to see it as this:
But, it'll feel more like this:
Just made this post because i'm gonna get a haircut on Monday. Just a trim and some layers. That's all.
................................................ i'm still nervous, though.
Friday, 26 October 2012
The grumpy lemon.
This is a grumpy lemon:
The grumpy lemon doesn't like affection:
The grumpy lemon hates life because life gives away his kind:
The grumpy lemon hates milk...especially in his cereal (and it gives him gas.):
But the grumpy lemon likes to sing about his feelings through a nice session of karaoke:
But he sings terribly. Sucks for you, grumpy lemon. Sucks for you.
Walang Hanggan
I didn't watch that show, but everyone was talking about it.
So I was pretty much like this:
So I was pretty much like this:
I don't watch Filipino soap operas often. They seem predictable and they always use the same actors and actresses (cough their "love team"). I mean, they affect the emotions and all (For example: "RUN YOU SACK OF GUTS. THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR SCREWING ANOTHER PERSON'S WIFE!"- people here.), but I just don't like watching them.
I mainly just watch tv for comedy and cooking shows.
A hurricane they said.
I went out with my camera and
A hurricane the said. Thank God we're not floating in deadly waters right now.
A hurricane the said. Thank God we're not floating in deadly waters right now.
Thursday, 25 October 2012
The concept of being "Just there"
It's 12:45 AM, a Taylor Swift song's on, and my thoughts are just bursting. I'm gonna try and explain in detail some days I have in a certain place. You know... thoughts and stuff. You could say i'm a wallflower.
~~~~~
10 o'clock and i'm in my uniform, sweaty hands constantly pulling down my white top over my plaid skirt, sitting under the trees and under the blue, blue, ever so blue sky. And the sun is hot, the breeze cool, my lips chapped, my breath slow and steady, and my hand slowly creeping towards my chin.
Beads of sweat constantly forming at the back of my neck and I lift up my hair. The air is cool, the breeze is gentle, and i'm sitting under the trees at 10 o'clock in the morning, my shadow not colliding with another's.
And all these kids walking around and giggling and I think about how they feel. And them bumping into each other and I think about the morning they had, or how their classes were, or if they're in love or not. I think about the source of the twinkle in their eyes and what they would do if they were sitting under the trees at 10 o' clock like me.
How would it feel to bump into another and laugh and cry and roll around.
How it feels to be blushing under the sunshine and people noticing you and shouting "You're looking awesome today."
Speaking pure words with flawless actions, brimming with confidence, fearless fire glowing in your eyes.
And loved and adored and not ignored. And special and known for the things you do best, for the things you do better, for they are great.
And you walk with no errors and you go home with a smile. You go back again and you're greeted by love and you're welcomed with open arms and it's only been a night but "I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH"
And how people would fight over the seat next to you because of the jokes you make and they love you. And you don't know how blessed you are.
You really are.
And all the things I miss because i'm sitting under the trees at 10 o'clock, sweaty hands constantly pulling my top. All the things I miss under the blue, blue, ever so blue sky.
~~~~
lol gosh :))
Anyhoo, I hope that was accurate. Who doesn't want to be famous or at least school-popular? Like, you don't have to panic because there's always someone you could go with.
But there are cons to it .I don't want to talk about that.
One thing about me: I like observing people.
~~~~~
10 o'clock and i'm in my uniform, sweaty hands constantly pulling down my white top over my plaid skirt, sitting under the trees and under the blue, blue, ever so blue sky. And the sun is hot, the breeze cool, my lips chapped, my breath slow and steady, and my hand slowly creeping towards my chin.
Beads of sweat constantly forming at the back of my neck and I lift up my hair. The air is cool, the breeze is gentle, and i'm sitting under the trees at 10 o'clock in the morning, my shadow not colliding with another's.
And all these kids walking around and giggling and I think about how they feel. And them bumping into each other and I think about the morning they had, or how their classes were, or if they're in love or not. I think about the source of the twinkle in their eyes and what they would do if they were sitting under the trees at 10 o' clock like me.
How would it feel to bump into another and laugh and cry and roll around.
How it feels to be blushing under the sunshine and people noticing you and shouting "You're looking awesome today."
Speaking pure words with flawless actions, brimming with confidence, fearless fire glowing in your eyes.
And loved and adored and not ignored. And special and known for the things you do best, for the things you do better, for they are great.
And you walk with no errors and you go home with a smile. You go back again and you're greeted by love and you're welcomed with open arms and it's only been a night but "I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH"
And how people would fight over the seat next to you because of the jokes you make and they love you. And you don't know how blessed you are.
You really are.
And all the things I miss because i'm sitting under the trees at 10 o'clock, sweaty hands constantly pulling my top. All the things I miss under the blue, blue, ever so blue sky.
~~~~
lol gosh :))
Anyhoo, I hope that was accurate. Who doesn't want to be famous or at least school-popular? Like, you don't have to panic because there's always someone you could go with.
But there are cons to it .I don't want to talk about that.
One thing about me: I like observing people.
Things that I should do before the next semester:
- Find a bag that's cute, but not too cute to the point that I look like I just blasted out from some anime series (*~Kawaii~*)
- Wrap my notebooks with plain bond paper and scribble all over them.
- Stock up on pens.
- Make a "We should totally just stab Caesar" button pin for my bag.
- Deep condition my hair.
- Attempt to grow taller.
- Stock up on my perfume.
- Buy a watch.
College vs. Highschool
There's a clear difference between college and highschool. In highschool, you can settle your ass down on that brown chair for as long as you like while you migrate like the people during the ice age in college. In highschool, you get awesome bathrooms with awesome trashcans next to awesome toilets that actually flush while in college, you pee on dirty loos. In highschool, you wear white socks while in college, you usually don't.
In college, you get different classmates in different classes and you get different teachers. Everything is different. Even the amount of stairs you have to encounter has tripled.
But why do I like college more? I just think the atmosphere's more comfortable, that's all.
In highschool, I pretty much looked like this:
In college, you get different classmates in different classes and you get different teachers. Everything is different. Even the amount of stairs you have to encounter has tripled.
But why do I like college more? I just think the atmosphere's more comfortable, that's all.
In highschool, I pretty much looked like this:
I had really boring hair, tired eyes, awful lips, an awful nose, oily skin, and I looked like the kind of person who would bore you to death.
That's actually a fact.
I could bore you to death because i've got the charm of a door mat. That actually depends on the person. If you're pretty loud and you like talking about boys all the time and how you SO want to feel their abs, then we won't get along that much. Something happened to me in time and space which resulted to -points at me- who doesn't have a lot of friends just because. It's pretty darn sad sometimes, but oh well.
So in college, I changed my look. I did some stuff to prevent all the oiliness and stuff. I put on this really awesome orange lip tint from Etude house, and I placed some ice on my eyes. People tell me i'm "blooming" sometimes (heheHAH oh my god what), but I just get amused at the term because it makes me feel like a flower and like
Yeah.
I'm hungry. I'll be blogging again soon.
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